Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Two babies, nine months apart

I have titled this blog "A lovely problem to have" because we have two children who are very close in age. Although many people see our family and tell us, "You must be so busy!" or "I can't imagine how you do it all!" we feel that we are so fortunate to have a family. Yes, there are sleepless nights, many diaper changes, and clever balancing acts to meet the needs of two very young children...but I would much rather have these issues than to not have them at all.

This is how we got here:

My husband and I tried for almost seven years to have a family. We went to doctors, had tests, took medications, had more tests, tried IUIs and even more medications. We reached a point where the next step would be IVF. Because IVF is so expensive and does not guarantee results, we decided to pursue adoption. More than anything else, we wanted to be parents. A biological connection was not necessary. We knew this because, near the end of that (almost) seven year experience, we had a foster daughter. She was in our home for a year and a half. We would have loved to adopt her, but she was reunified with her birthfather. This was crushing, but the experience showed us how deeply and fully we could love someone who was not of our own creation.

In the fall of 2007, we began our adoption journey with a private, domestic, non-profit adoption agency. We endured medical exams, financial statements, letters from friends and our pastor, home visits, and lots of paperwork. By November, we were matched with an expectant mother who was considering an adoption plan. That same month, I had surgery to remove what appeared to be a dermoid cyst on one ovary. The tissue turned out to be nothing more than scar tissue. Four days later, our first daughter was born. To our complete joy and surprise, her birthmother selected us to be her parents. Exactly one month after the birth of our first daugher, we found out that we were expecting a second.

Our daughters are nine months and four days apart. Having two so close in age has its challenges, of course. But we are grateful for both experiences and feel very fortunate to have a family. Finally.


  1. Thank you for your blog, I'm pregant again after I just gave birth to our lovely daught 5 months ago they'll be a woppin 10 months apart. I've had a lot of comments on how hard it's going to be it's refreshing to see a blog where someone is actually thankful to have children this close together. Thanks. Happy Parenting.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Anonymous: good luck! I'm thrilled for you.

    Dawna: We adopted domestically, though my daughter has Ethiopian roots. The agency fees vary from place to place, so I suggest checking with a few in your area to see what is typical. We selected Bethany Christian Services because of their dedication to supporting expectant parents, regardless of whether or not they choose to make an adoption plan. Good luck on your family building journey! I'll be thinking of you!

  4. I just found out I am pregnant after adopting a baby. She is 1 month old, and I am 7 weeks pregnant. What a blessing. I feel the same, I am happy to have her and welcome another.. why wouldn't I want lots of babies??

  5. Congratulations! That is *so* exciting!

    I think it was most challenging in the beginning when they were both babies. One was a very new baby and the other was an older baby (but still a baby). I think in the beginning, it wasn't a matter of getting through a day, or even getting through an hour. I just had to take each minute and cope with each minute at a time.

    As time went on, we got into a routine. Of course, as they age the routine changes. Now they are almost 2 and almost 3 and adore each other. There are moments (since they are toddlers, after all!) but the tough moments pass quickly, as they always do.

  6. you beat me! Mine are 9 months and 6 days apart!

  7. How glad I am to know there are other mothers who have babies so close in age like myself with two babies barely 10 months apart who can testify that even though it may be difficult it's the most fulfilling experience a woman can ever have and I would not want to have it any other way definetly a most lovely problem I would not trade and feel truly blessed to have.

  8. Thank you for your encouragement. We have struggled with secondary infertility and have pursued the adoption route. We have been talking to a birth mom due mid-November. This weekend I found out I was pregnant! They would be 6 months apart! While I know what the Lor is calling us to do (adopt!!)and time I start thinking about logistics I scare myself out of it. I would appreciate any helpful suggestions!

  9. God bless all of you new Mommies! I am now in my late 50s, and my baby days are over - until I get grandchildren! My own two, a boy and a girl, were four years apart,but they may as well have. been close in age.My son developed very slowly, so it WAS like having 'Irish Twins!' It wasn't easy, but both are now fine young adults.